


I Can Almost Taste It

by lady_icarus



Series: Days That Bind Us [3]
Category: Bastille (Band)
Genre: M/M, Morning After, sort of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-17
Updated: 2017-05-19
Packaged: 2018-11-01 17:35:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10926720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_icarus/pseuds/lady_icarus
Summary: Kyle struggles with piecing together what happened the night he agreed to join Dan's weird band.Along the way, he realizes he's in far deeper than he thought.





	1. Chapter 1

They hadn’t talked about that night, too caught up in the constant bustle of building their band together. Ordinarily, something like that wouldn’t bother Kyle in the slightest. He was a grown man, hooking up and then not talking about it afterwards wasn’t that much of a foreign concept to him.

 

Except.

 

Except sometimes when they’re at practice, Dan will gaze at him with the same mischievous grin that Kyle swore he could remember from that night. Or his voice will go breathy on the high notes he’s hitting and Kyle will get hit with a pang of something that isn’t quite a memory. 

 

Whatever had been in that punch was damn effective, considering how little Kyle could actually remember of that night, and it drove him mad with the constant question of exactly what had transpired between them. He remembered admitting how badly he wanted to join the band, remembered drunkenly kissing Dan, something that was barely more than a sloppy press of their lips together, and then… nothing.

 

Except.

 

Except Dan was on top of him the next morning, curled up on Kyle’s too-small bed in his rat’s nest of a flat. And while Dan was turning out to be a very tactile friend, and hypothetically waking up together wouldn’t be that out of the ordinary between Dan and his friends-turned-bandmates, there was still the possibility that it had been more, had  _ meant  _ more than just drunkenly passing out together. 

 

Not that it mattered all too much. They had a good thing going, their little band, and all of their focus needed to be on that; on finding gigs and perfecting their sound and learning to function together as a unit. Trying to sort out the mess that was or wasn’t their relationship wasn’t that much of a priority. Not when Dan was beaming through his vocals, fingers wrapped around the microphone as he swayed to the beat Woody was pounding out behind him. Kyle grinned as his fingers moved over the keys, toying with the different synth effects he could throw behind Dan’s music. 

 

“Strings? Maybe?” Dan paused in his singing to ask, and Kyle nodded, keeping one hand on the notes he was playing while the other adjusted the settings. Dan’s answering smile was nothing short of breathtaking as the sound shifted, and Kyle’s fingers faltered on the keys for half a beat before he quickly fixed his gaze back on the instrument. 

 

“Oi, quit getting lost in Dan’s baby blues and focus on the damn song, Kyle.” Will teased.

 

“Easy for you to say, you’ve got to play what, three chords in the whole thing?” Kyle retorted, flushing when he realized he hadn’t denied getting caught in Dan’s gaze. “Sides, his eyes aren’t baby blue. More like. Teal or something.”

 

“Are you two done with arguing about my eyes? I’d like to work on the bridge, if that’s alright.” Dan cut into their conversation, lips quirked up into a slight smirk as he looked over at Kyle. Woody seemed to be the only one unaffected by the banter, still happily playing the beat to their song despite the fact that the other three had stopped playing altogether. Finally, Will threw a coin at one of his cymbals, successfully getting Woody’s attention and earning himself a glare from under the mop of hair. 

 

“We really need to get proper sound equipment so he can hear us.” Dan frowned, fingers drumming over the base of the microphone. 

 

“Not to mention an actual recording space that isn’t my living room.” Will added. “Doesn’t have the best acoustics, you know.”

 

“And here I thought we were creating a new genre. Living room pop.” Kyle retorted, earning himself a coin toss that he easily caught. “Keeping this. Every little bit helps, you know.”

 

“We need to start a jar for our band fund.” Dan said suddenly, the frown having spread to his forehead while the other two bickered. Kyle could already see the wheels in his head turning, and he sighed, knowing the impending rant would be a bad one. “I mean, really. We can’t record the sounds we need with our synths, and Will’s right, we need a better space for recording. Not to mention the sound equipment, money to put down when it comes time to actually make our record, traveling expenses, what else am I forgetting? Kyle?”

 

“Dan. Breathe.” Kyle sighed, moving over to where Dan was standing in front of his own keyboard. “We’re still in the early stages, yeah? We don’t need to worry about all of that. Step one is gigs. Play in a few pubs, get people interested, maybe earn a few quid while we’re at it. We’ll go from there. But we’re not going to be ready to play anywhere if we can’t figure out that last bridge.” He reached out, putting his hands on Dan’s shoulders and waiting for the tell-tale slump that he knew would shortly follow. Dan finally let out a sigh, visibly relaxing underneath Kyle’s hands before peering up at him through the messy brown hair. His eyes always seemed so much bigger when he was wearing his glasses, and Will could go fuck himself because those eyes were a lovely shade of green today. 

 

Kyle gave him what he hoped was a reassuring look, and something in his chest twisted when Dan responded with a tired smile of his own.

 

“You’re right. Just feel like all of these worries are biting at my heels, you know?”

 

“Seriously, man, are you capable of opening your mouth without potential song lyrics pouring out?” Kyle teased, squeezing Dan’s shoulders a final time for good measure before stepping away. “Really, though, are we writing any of this down?”

 

“I’m not touching that potential future song until I write you one about a serial killer. I did promise.” 

 

“That’s really okay. I have no problems being in a band that doesn’t have a song about a serial killer. Save it for album number two, or a B side or something.” Kyle laughed quietly, ignoring the almost-thoughtful look Dan was sending his way. 

 

“Right, so should we try Pompeii again or were you two going to be needing another moment?” Woody asked, drumstick twirling between his fingers. 

 

“Starting to think you and Will are just jealous.” Kyle muttered, returning to his synth so he could play the opening chord. He wasn’t entirely satisfied with how they were opening the song, but he knew that it wouldn’t be long before they found the perfect sound for what was quickly becoming one of his favorite songs. 


	2. Chapter 2

“Why’ve you got a cat on your shirt?” Dan asked by way of greeting as Kyle opened his door.

 

“Good morning to you, too. I slept rather well, thanks for asking.” Kyle retorted, stepping aside so Dan could enter his flat. “I’ve got a cat on my shirt because I think they’re nice. What brings you by?”

 

Dan just tapped the notebook in his hands, a battered thing that had obviously seen better days. “Writing day.”

 

“Which you couldn’t do at your own flat?”

 

“You’ve got good ears. I like having you close so I can run things by you.” Dan simply shrugged. “Didn’t think you’d mind all that much.”

 

“Course I don’t mind. Just making sure I hadn’t forgotten a practice day or something.” Kyle followed Dan back to his own bedroom, noting how completely at home he seemed to be despite the fact that he’d really only been over once before. 

 

And that was a thought that stopped Kyle dead in his tracks. The fact that the last time they’d been at his flat, they’d both been waking up with a killer hangover and next to no recollection about how they’d ended up there. Well. He assumed they both had no memory. He’d never actually asked Dan about that night and how much the other remembered other than his drunken admission. When he finally snapped out of his thoughts and made his way to his bedroom, it didn’t shock him as much as it should have to see Dan spread out on his bed as though he owned the thing, fingers drumming out a rhythm on the pages of his notebook.

 

“How’d you know where I lived anyway?” Kyle finally asked.

 

“Remembered.” Dan responded, tearing his gaze away from the pages to look over at Kyle with a grin. “One of the best nights of my life, not like I’d forget it.” 

 

Kyle had to pause for a moment, unsure of how to respond. It was such a simple statement, but he could tell the potential for it to be loaded, for all the different meanings behind what was said.

 

“Yeah, it was a pretty fun party.” He said carefully, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. Dan didn’t move much to accommodate him, so Kyle took that as permission to move to sit on the other end, propping his legs up on the bed so they were tangled somewhat with Dan’s. 

 

“Pretty sure I drunkenly wrote Icarus, too. And then you joined my band.” Dan’s smile was bright as he met Kyle’s gaze.

 

“And then I drunkenly admitted to wanting to be in your band after you spent almost a month brainwashing me.” Kyle corrected with a grin. “No idea how we ended up here, though. Much less how you’d remember it enough to come back.” 

 

Dan’s eyes were a little wide, and Kyle didn’t miss how quickly he shifted his gaze back to his notebook. “Right, well. We’d drank enough of that blue stuff to kill an elephant, so you suggested I just crash at yours since it was closer. I gave you a piggy-back ride while you gave directions. Fairly hard to forget that.”

 

“You actually trusted directions I was giving when I was plastered?” Kyle asked incredulously. “Wait, you gave me a piggy-back ride? Why?”

 

“It’s alright, you knew your way by which cats were at which street lights. That’s how I knew you were trustworthy.” Dan grinned, kicking him lightly. “And I had to give you a lift because you kept trying to follow cats down the alleyway.” 

 

“Yeah, that’s actually pretty par for the course. I’ll give you that one.” 

 

“Considering the fact that my word’s all you’ve got to go on, don’t think you’ve got much of a choice.” Dan retorted. 

 

“You should just be thrilled I’m trusting your word at all, considering how drunk you were.”

 

“Overjoyed.” Dan corrected, almost idly. His smile disappeared as his eyes widened, and he hurriedly flipped through the pages of his notebook as he attempted to find something. 

 

“Starting to think you only hang around me for all the good it does your music.” Kyle muttered, watching Dan scribble away furiously. 

 

“I told you that you’d be good inspiration. I was right, wasn’t I?” 

 

“Pretty sure that was in the context of me trying to convince you I was a serial killer so you’d leave me alone about the band thing.”

 

“Still counts.” Dan mumbled. He let out a noise when Kyle reached down and grabbed his foot, pressing into the soft underpart in a vague massage. “Stop it, you’re going to break my concentration. You’re too good at that.”

 

“Says the guy who identified me as a piano player within moment of meeting me simply from how my fingers were moving.”

 

“You’ve got nice hands, it’s difficult not to notice.” 

 

Kyle looked over at Dan in disbelief for a moment, hands pausing in their motion on Dan’s foot while the other stayed focused on the notebook, lips moving in silent words as he worked out the cadence of what was likely their next song. He seemed to be completely oblivious as to what he’d just admitted, which was probably for the best as Kyle was still attempting to process it himself.

 

“Right, well. Good to know you’re not keeping me around for my looks.”

 

Dan actually looked up at that, confusion on his features. To illustrate his point, Kyle pressed his thumbs into the flesh of Dan’s foot, grinning when he let out another noise and squeezed his eyes shut. 

 

“You’re going to be completely hosed when I’m arthritic, you know that, don’t you?” Kyle teased. 

 

“If we’re still touring when you’re arthritic, I’m sure we’ll have more than enough money for all the surgeries necessary to keeping those in top condition.” Dan nodded towards Kyle’s hands, leaning his head back against the wall as the massage continued. 

 

“You really think I’d be up for surgeries? I can’t stand doctors.” 

 

“I think that you’re already gone on our band and you’ll do whatever it takes to stay.”

 

“Oh, so now it’s our band? Thought it was your band. Me and the lads were just playing in it.” 

 

“No, it’s definitely our band now. It wasn’t clicking at first, you know? Woody and I played together for almost a year but we weren’t really a band. And then Will came along and it was nice, but. It still didn’t feel complete. And then…”

 

Dan fell silent, and Kyle nudged his thigh slightly where his foot was lodged against it. “And then…?” He prompted gently.

 

“And then you came along and it all fell into place. We just… work. And fit together perfectly.” Dan finally looked up at Kyle, an unreadable expression on his face. 

 

Kyle was once again hit with the feeling that Dan meant more than what was on the surface. It nearly drove him mad, the apparent thousands of layers that made up the words of Dan Smith, and while he appreciated it from a musical standpoint, as a guy who was attempting to sort out where they stood with each other, it was a bit nerve-wracking. Everything in him was screaming, wanting Dan to just say what he bloody well meant for once, but as those green eyes peered at him through the lenses of his glasses, Kyle realized he really wouldn’t have it any other way. This was who Dan was, this was how he talked, poetry and misdirection in every word. It was just a language he was going to have to learn. 

 

“We really do fit well together, don’t we? I still stand by what I said, I’m a terrible bandmate. Too awkward to be a rockstar, don’t know how you manage it. But I like what we’re doing. Across the board.” He shifted his leg against Dan’s in a movement vague enough to just be adjusting his position, but purposeful enough that he hoped the other would pick up on his own double meaning, poorly delivered as it was. 

 

Dan answered with a smile, something caught between a shy grin and a smirk. “I like it, too.” He eventually murmured before returning his attention to the notebook in his hands. 


	3. Chapter 3

_ Hands, clutching at the fabric of his shirt. _

 

_ A breathy laugh, the swift press of lips against his jaw.  _

 

_ The feeling of hips rolling against his own, a voice not his own letting out a quiet moan. _

 

_ All of a sudden, a fall and then-- _

 

Kyle was woken suddenly by the sound of his phone, and he let out a string of curses when he realized what time it was. 

 

“Right, sorry, I’ll be along in a bit. Just forgot to set an alarm.”

 

“Better hurry. Dan’s in a mood.” Woody’s voice replied from the other end, not accusatory, simply a warning. 

 

Kyle sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. It’s not like it was the first time he’d had that dream, but with everything going on with Dan and the weird not-tension between them made it feel like more, and less and less like the fantasy of a man with a frankly unhealthy crush on his new bandmate. He shook his head and set about getting dressed, grabbing a shirt he hoped was clean as well as the jeans and trainers he’d kicked off the night before. 

 

Five minutes later, he was at the studio space, an anxious Dan already waiting for him outside. He went to move closer, but Dan shook his head, stopping him in his tracks. 

 

“I didn’t think you were coming.” His voice was quiet, strangely raw. 

 

“I know, and I feel like a complete arse, I just overslept and--”

 

“I don’t want to do this without you. I… I don’t think I can.” Dan finally looked up at him, eyes a startling shade of blue in the light.

 

“Dan…”

 

“No, I’m sorry. I’m just being ridiculous, right?” The smile on Dan’s face was strained, and Kyle’s stomach twisted unpleasantly at the forced expression. 

 

“No, you’re absolutely not. I get it, I really do. All of this? I wouldn’t have even dreamed of doing something like this if it weren’t for you. I really am sorry for being late. I just… had a lot on my mind last night and forgot to set the alarm, and got completely caught up in dream world. I swear, it won’t happen again.” Kyle exhaled sharply, taking a step forward when he realized Dan wasn’t going to push him away. He hesitated, then wrapped the other in a firm hug, wincing as he felt him trembling. 

 

“Hope your dreams were pleasant at least.” Dan mumbled where his face was pressed to Kyle’s collarbone. A jolt tore through him at the sensation, the ghost of a memory of  _ lips  _ and  _ teeth  _ and all of the other things that had been haunting him since that night. 

 

“...reality is better.” Kyle finally muttered in response, squeezing Dan tighter for a moment before releasing him and stepping back. “C’mon. Let’s go show them what we’ve got. Together, yeah?”

 

This time, the smile Dan gave him was genuine, that same dazzling thing that had won him over so many nights ago. 

 

“Together.”

 

* * *

 

The recording session was going swimmingly. They sounded amazing when they were in a proper booth instead of Will’s living room, and it was easy to see that the people in the booth were loving everything they’d played so far. It was addicting, watching Dan completely lose himself in the music, thriving off of all the positive energy bouncing off the walls of the room. Kyle couldn’t help but chuckle a little through the vocals of “Icarus”, remembering fondly when Dan had first drunkenly sang the lyrics to him that night. 

 

Unfortunately, they’d ended up scrapping “Pompeii” and a few others, deciding the sound wasn’t quite where they wanted it to be just yet and knowing that they only had the studio for a little bit of time. After a quick vote, they’d decided to focus on “Flaws” for their final recording. 

 

The first take was a complete botch, with Woody getting a little too eager with the tempo, causing Dan to all but lose his mind in laughter. Even Kyle was wiping away tears from his eyes, fingers aching from the speed he’d been forced to play at. The second went a little better, Woody keeping a steady pace throughout the song, and even managing to throw in a few vocals with Will and Kyle. It was a good take, and Kyle was genuinely excited to hear how it came out once they finished adjusting the levels and polished the track.

 

Except.

 

Except he made the mistake of looking up from his keys, and Dan was singing and looking straight at him. His lips quirked up into a slight smile as their eyes met, and when he sang the next line, it tore straight through Kyle like a bullet.

 

“Let’s finish what we’ve started… Dig them up, so nothing’s left untouched.” 

 

It was another one of those funny moments, where words were more than what they were, and it was too much. The way Dan was staring at him intently, as though waiting for him to pick up on that hidden meaning, the way these questions had been running around his mind for weeks while he tried to keep himself from going completely mad, it was  _ too much.  _

 

_ “Are you finally going to finish what you started?” _

 

_ That same damn laugh, the feeling of a smile against his throat as fingers slide underneath his shirt-- _

 

“Can we take five?” Kyle blurted out, his fingers having stilled on the keys long ago. 

 

“Dude we don’t have--” Woody began, but Will quickly shushed him. 

 

“Yeah, take five. Go get some water.” 

 

Kyle didn’t bother looking at Dan as he walked out of the booth, not entirely sure he’d like whatever it was he would see on the other’s face. 


	4. Chapter 4

Kyle’s hands were shaking as he pushed through the studio doors, out into the brisk air of the city. He rubbed his hand over his face, immediately grateful for the chilly air snapping him back to reality. Woody was right, they really didn’t have time for this little meltdown of his. He owed them his full attention and focus, not the bundle of nerves and confusion he’d just spewed out. Kyle sighed, then turned to go inside only to stop in his tracks when he saw Dan at the door.

 

“Sorry.” Kyle choked out, waving his hand dismissively. “Nerves, you know. Just needed a mo’, I’m good now.”

 

“It wasn’t nerves. I know nerves, and that… it wasn’t it.” Dan shook his head, lips pursed as he narrowed his gaze at Kyle. “If this isn’t… if you don’t want to do this, you don’t have to. I know I pressured you, but I don’t want you to be unhappy.”

 

“Oh my god, Dan. It’s not the band, okay? The band is… it’s perfect, alright? We’re bloody incredible, and I know we’re only going to get better from here, and this is probably the best thing I’ve ever done. I knew I wanted to join on the second you sent me that clip of “Palmer” and I was ridiculous for even pretending I didn’t want to. So just… trust me when I say it’s not the band.” Kyle huffed in exasperation, pushing his hands through his hair. 

 

“Then what is it?” Dan asked, stepping forward and pulling Kyle’s hands away from his face. Kyle just squeezed his eyes shut, shaking his head and stepping back. 

 

“I can’t do this.”

 

“Okay.” Dan breathed, forcing that smile and breaking Kyle’s heart all over again. “It’s okay. We got a good recording of “Icarus”, we’ll just. Work something out and do another recording with someone--”

 

“For the last time, it’s not the bloody band!” Kyle all-but shouted, moving forward and grabbing Dan by the face. Despite the intensity of everything he was feeling, it wasn’t a harsh action, his fingers gentle where they cradled the other’s jaw. “It’s you, alright?”

 

“Me.” Dan responded, eyes wide in what Kyle hoped was confusion and not fear or hurt. 

 

“You.” Kyle breathed. “You and your perfect voice, and your ridiculous hair, and your amazing...everything. And the fact that you know bloody well that I can barely remember what happened that night, and that I know that you can remember it perfectly because damn your alcohol tolerance to hell and back. And I feel like we’ve been dancing around each other since we met, and I just… I can’t do it anymore. I can’t stand not knowing.” Kyle finally exhaled, leaning down so his forehead was resting against Dan’s.

 

“So ask me. Whatever you want to know. Just ask.” Dan said what felt like a thousand years later.

 

Kyle sighed, closing his eyes again and taking a deep breath to steel himself before speaking again. “I remember… I remember kissing you that night.” He could feel Dan’s breath on his face, the way he inhaled sharply at Kyle’s words, and that was all the motivation he needed to force the next words out. “Did we sleep together?”

 

He wasn’t prepared for Dan’s answering laugh, for the way his eyes sparkled when they locked gazes. 

 

“Well, I did wake up in your bed.”

 

“Just… can you stop dancing around it for one minute and give me a straight answer? Did we fuck?” He was suddenly hyper aware of how close they were standing, their breaths mixing into a warm cloud in the cold air around them. 

 

“Kyle.” Dan’s hands moved to his chest, fingers splaying against the yellow fabric of his admittedly tacky kitten t-shirt. 

 

“Please just answer me. Please.” Kyle’s voice felt like it was caught in his throat, and he knew that Dan could feel how fast his heart was beating through the thin fabric of his t-shirt. 

 

“Does it matter?” Dan finally said, tilting his head so their noses brushed, a mimicry of that night. 

 

“What? Dan, of course it matters--”

 

“If you don’t remember, what’s the point? It’s not really fair to count it, is it?” Dan laughed quietly, lips almost brushing Kyle’s as he spoke. 

 

“I just… I can’t stand not knowing.” Kyle admitted quietly, then paused, realization dawning on him as Dan’s words finally registered. “We did. It’s not a dream. It… it really happened.” 

 

“Dream?” Dan frowned, moving to step away, but Kyle kept him firmly where he was. 

 

“I keep having these dreams. Of us. And it’s been driving me absolutely mad because sometimes… the way you look at me, made me wonder if it wasn’t just a fantasy, if maybe there was some truth to it, but I didn’t want to hope, or screw things up--”

 

“I didn’t want to screw things up if you didn’t remember!” Dan protested. 

 

“You absolute bloody idiot.” Kyle shook his head, then let out a laugh of his own. “For the record…” He trailed off, then shifted so he could press their lips together, a sweeter, softer thing than any of the kisses they’d exchanged in that drunken haze. 

  
“Still counts.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that is a wrap!
> 
> Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed and left kudos! Everyone has been so kind and so awesome, and I hope you all enjoyed this crazy little trip. Your words have meant the world to me <3
> 
> Special shout-out to my beta, who will remain anonymous for now, for sharing the process with me and without whom none of this would have existed. 
> 
> PS: Keep an eye on the series itself, Days That Bind Us! I'm currently writing "B-sides", which will basically be both of these fics from Dan's POV. There will be some bonus stuff thrown in that you might not have seen in Kyle's POV (featuring a lot more of Will and Woody because I love them so much), plus a peek inside (my interpretation of) Dan's brain.


End file.
